Muselist

May. 18th, 2025 02:12 pm
eloquencejones: (mars)
// MOST ACTIVE
Dick Grayson
Batman
Stiles Stilinski
Teen Wolf
Jaskier
The Witcher (TV)
Lan Sizhui
The Untamed
Nie Huaisang
The Untamed
Telemachus
Epic: The Musical
Harry Hook
Descendants
Spot Conlon
Newsies
Prompto Argentum
FFXV
// LESS ACTIVE
Dick Grayson
Young Justice
Dick Grayson
Batman and Robin: Year One
Jack Rackham
Black Sails
Gaius Maecenas
Rome
Hawkeye Pierce
M*A*S*H
Radar O'Reilly
M*A*S*H
Klaus Hargreeves
Umbrella Academy
Jesper Fahey
Shadow and Bone
Kaz Brekker
Shadow and Bone
Wei Wuxian
The Untamed
Xie Wang
Word of Honor
Angel Dust
Hazbin Hotel
Lucifer Morningstar
Hazbin Hotel
Fizzarolli
Helluva Boss
Biffy
Parasol Protectorate
Maladict
Monstrous Regiment
Leviathan/Envy
Angelic Myth
Polites
Epic: The Musical
Icarus
Greek Myth
Bucky Barnes
MCU
G'raha Tia
FFXIV
Aymeric de Borel
FFXIV
Hythlodaeus
FFXIV
Ke'bhee Tia (WoL)
FFXIV
Halle Sjadarwesfv (WoL)
FFXIV
muselist by [personal profile] roximonoxide

Melancholia

May. 4th, 2016 09:07 pm
eloquencejones: (Default)
I'm sitting in a pub on my laptop listening to some terrible Spanish music while my wife pretends to be a vampire prince. I'm too sad to join her as a Finnish vampire journalist.

Sometimes my life sounds particularly strange when I put it into words, and normally I wouldn't change it at all, I love my wife and our strange hobbies, LARP is a lot of fun and it makes me pretty happy, but I'm struggling to be happy lately and I don't understand why.

I realise my hormones are particularly poorly placed, I am due on imminently and that usually spells badness for my emotional health, and it doesn't help that I recently lost out on a promotion at work to somebody I didn't feel was the best person for the job. There are other opportunities on the horizon but they seem too far away right now, the job that I love and enjoy has become a source of sadness and I wish I could shake it but I can't. I still enjoy it, and it still has all the things that I always loved about it, but for some reason I just feel... everything is a struggle. It took all my effort to go to roller derby last night, and I've only been doing that for just over a week, I shouldn't have that much struggle for a new hobby that I actually really like.

I was so proud of myself when I got home, I pushed through my sadness, I tried my hardest and I got somewhere, I could see the improvement, I did everything and I made it through, and then tonight... tonight I can't even bring myself to put on my star wars t-shirt and go through to the other room and pretend to be the happy little Finn I so adore to play.

I want to change but I don't know what to, I want to do something different, anything, I don't.... I barely even know what I'm typing right now I just wanted to get some thoughts onto the page and this seemed like the best method?

I mostly just feel out of it lately, like I'm having trouble connecting to anything, to people or things, I feel like nobody cares, but also feel selfish for thinking that? Like I feel like I can't imagine everybody hates me because that would be too self centred, so instead I just imagine that nobody is really bothered one way or another, and if I disappeared off the face of the internet tomorrow they probably would barely notice.

It's a real struggle and I have no idea what to do about it. I just don't know.

Greetings

Mar. 29th, 2012 11:34 am
eloquencejones: (Default)
Hello and welcome to my world. I essentially made this journal as nothing more than an anchoring point now that I have multiple character journals on here, and am considering joining a game... but I do claim the name eloquence, so perhaps I'll make better use of it.

You may find fandom ramblings, obscure nonsense, graphics or fanfiction, or rants about whatever issues I feel important to me at the time.
You may find absolutely nothing.

But come along, dear friends, make yourselves comfortable and settle down, whatever you may find here, you will find that you are welcome.

May 2025

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